Sometimes He Feels the Love

Sometimes he feels the love but can’t bring himself to say it because it’s a bit girly and men can be embarrassed like that. A real man won’t tell you every five minutes he loves you, because real men understand that love goes much deeper than frivolous comments blurted out in a moment of weakness. A wimp will tell you all day long how much he loves and adores you, so if you’re dating a real man, remember this next time you're pulling your hair out wondering why your boyfriend won't declare his undying love and devotion, and realize just what it means when your man - assuming he's not an L-word-cheapening player or lame-o - does actually open up to you.

Assuming no real woman could be content just to sit back and wait for these rare moments of affection, there are a few ways to coax some displays of emotion from him. If you're patient, try laying your cards out on the table. Explain to him that you understand why he's reluctant to tell you he loves you - because he's a 'real man' and all that - but that he in turn must understand that you are a woman who seeks that reassurance. He'll respect your honesty and the fact that you're holding back on the pressure (a bit), and you may see him opening up.

Your other option is just to tell him flat out that you love him and look for one of three responses:

1. He will be scared witless, somehow wangle his way out of the situation and give you the boot via voice mail the next day.

2. He'll reply in kind, unconvincingly, but he'll realize what you're looking for and may find it within himself to start baring his soul in the near future. (And, besides, what you really want is for him to say it first, right?)

3. He'll give you the 'real man' speech, which is entirely valid for at least the first year of a relationship or until you've moved in together. Past those points you can nail him. And then dump him if he still refuses.

Cancel a boy’s night out to spend time with you. Why would you want to do this?

All I'm saying is tread carefully here. A worthy boyfriend will be aware of the need to spread the love between you and his mates. If he's got a night out with the guys every time you'd like a romantic dinner in, then he's taking you for granted and you need to sort that out. But if you just want to have him all to yourself, then he's going to start begrudging you and eventually 'needing space'.

If it's a specific night you want him to cancel for an important reason that a man just wouldn't understand, you could try trade it for something he can't refuse. A naughty weekend away, perhaps?

Pop the Question

A man's decision to get married will always be tempered by rational thought, specifically the current divorce statistics and the notion that many women think marriage will fix any relationship problems. The desire to stand proudly in front of his family and friends with his bride at his side, to walk down the aisle, to have a ring on his finger, to declare to the world his eternal love, to achieve the status of 'married' - well, none of that really comes in to it.

Now, if you're trying to hurry up the process, there are two options: the low road and the high road. The low road, unfortunately the most common route, boils down to an ultimatum. 'Propose by this date or we're over,' the would-be bride effectively declares. A well-worked ultimatum is the desperate woman at her devious best using all the emotional blackmail she can. Either this moment is the wake-up call the reluctant groom needs to evaluate his life and realize he's going to lose his most precious possession, or he dumps her because life isn't about setting a date. At least the pain of waiting is over. (A word of warning: there's a good chance a wedding ultimatum will haunt him to his dying day. And if it gets out to his friends that you set him a propose-or-I-walk date, they will hate you.)

The high road involves a serious discussion about life and dreams and ambitions at fairly regular intervals. After a couple of years of living together, this should be expected. Make sure you both know what the other person wants in the long run, that he specifically knows you want to marry him, and that you would never want it to change your relationship. There is no ultimatum involved but a man worth his salt will be aware of what you want and whether he can give that to you. Eventually he will propose or he will stand down out of respect for your future.

Break Up with You

This is usually a male specialty but if you're feeling cowardly and don't want to do the dumping a combination of the following should do the trick:

1. Diss his mates

2. Stop the sex and definitely no blow jobs

3. Pick fights when he’s trying to sleep

4. Go vegan

5. Start wearing dungarees

6. Don’t Flush

Pick Up His Stuff

Sorry. This is a mystery for eternity. May as well try stop him putting his hands down his crotch while watching TV.

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Sometimes He Feels the Love