Tales of a Spectator Spectator

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Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just as fun as watching theplayers. From the silent statues to the loud cartoon caricatures, from the self-contained families and social groups to those who fully participate with the game,from the normal to the abnormal to the absolutely bizarre, the crowd at thestadium is a microcosm of the human race .

This world of characters can be categorized into three groups according to theirinterest in the game. These three main groups may then be divided into severalsubgroups.

The first group is the TBFs, which is short for "True Baseball Fans." These aremostly individuals who are not part of families or clubs who came to the gametogether. TBFs only leave their seats between innings and are, for the most part,completely focused on the game. They pay little attention to what goes on in thestands and couldn't care less for the promotional events. TBFs can be found withinsocial organizations and families, but they come for one reason and only onereason: because they enjoy baseball and actually know the players.

Within the TBFs, you find the Statues, who are older men who sit still in their seatsthe entire game, uttering only the occasional cheer, boo, or "Call 'em, Blue!" Theyare old-school fans who could probably tell you about watching Mickey Mantle andWillie Mays play. Most Statues complain about how commercialized and business-oriented the game has become, and prefer the minor leagues to the majors. Statuesare as much a fixture at the ballyard as the seventh inning stretch. It would take awrecking ball to the stadium or a fire to move them from their seats.

In contrast to the Statues, the rabid Hecklers cannot resist a single opportunity tohurl insults at players, managers, coaches, and, most often, umpires. There areonly a handful of Hecklers at most games, but there is one who has a reserved seatin the front row right behind home plate, ideal for giving the home plate ump apiece of his mind in the rudest manner imaginable. He doesn't speak very loudly,but if you're in his section, you hear his caustic remarks on every missed call. I satbehind this prototypical Heckler one game when the umpire made several callsunfavorable to the home team. His mouth ran nonstop, like a one-sidedconversation with no response from the object of verbal abuse. (Umps must berequired not to respond to fans unless their safety is threatened.) Count onHecklers at any sporting event, although some youth leagues are cracking down onfans who don't behave themselves.

The rare YEBF, or Young Enthusiastic Baseball Fan, is under 30 and appreciates boththe game of baseball and the spectacle of attending the event. I count myselfamong this group. We are a little more interested in off-field or promotional eventsthan Statues, but tend focus ourselves primarily on the sporting event at hand.Most YEBFs cheer very loudly for the home team when they get a hit or make a goodpitch or defensive play, and boo when appropriate, but tend not to be as insultingas Hecklers. Most YEBFs will come to a game whenever it's convenient, some evenhave reserved seats or ticket books. Sadly, baseball is rapidly losing fans in my agerange. Who knows what will happen when the Statues pass on...

The final and most abundant subcategory is the MAFIF (Middle-Aged, FairlyInterested Fan). These mostly range in age from 30 to 50, are usually married andbring their spouses to the games, and tend to talk with them a fair amount, mostlyabout baseball. Some even bring their children (primarily sons) who tend to be lessinterested, but probably will become TBFs as they get older. MAFIFs like to just takein and enjoy the game more than interact with the players and umpires. A MAFIFmight tell a Heckler to quiet down, even though they may quietly agree with theHeckler's sentiments. Baseball has a greater percentage of middle-aged fans thanmost other sports, but like YEBFs, you can find them at other stadiums and fields.

One interesting and diverse bunch I guarantee you will find at every single minor-league game are the TEs, "Team Employees." They are always at the game becausethey get paid to be there, and most have a fun time with it. Some, however, like theushers, custodians, ticket-takers and those who serve food and drinks at theconcession stands, are not into the game and seem not to have a lot of fun,including the mobile vendors who must yell "Peanuts, get your peanuts here!"Ushers, as an example, are more focused on making sure people stay in their seats,avoid safety risks, and refrain from sitting in the wrong section. But those who havethe most fun at the games work in the pressbox, like the radio commentator, thenewspaper reporters, the sound effects technicians, the PA announcer, and folkswho work in the PR department. These last three groups have the most fun of themall.(1) The regular PA announcer at my hometown ballpark is the voice, informer,and chief entertainer of the crowd. He gets to participate in most of the on-fieldpromotions, along with the PR folks, but he mostly sits in front of the pressbox,regaling the crowd with his own brand of post-modernist humor, aimed more at theaverage adult than at kids or real baseball fans.

The group that forms most of the crowd at the average game is the TWBPSE(pronounced twa-BIP-see), "Those for Whom Baseball is a Primarily SocialExperience." Three subgroups are Families, SOs, and UKs. TWBPSEs only payattention to the game when something big happens or when there is a rally goingon. Otherwise, they talk, eat, drink, and walk around the stadium. Baseball seemsto serve better as pleasant background for a social evening than any other sport, sofor a TWBPSE, minor-league baseball is tailor-made for conversation, unlike sportsruled by the timeclock that demand constant watchfulness. Baseball rewards closeattention, but forgives occasional diversions.

You'll find many families at minor-league games because the games are billed asgood family entertainment, which they are. In fact, most families are there more forthe entertainment aspect than for the actual baseball game. There are rareexceptions, like parents who are TBFs and who try to instill their love of the game intheir kids. But most families find games to be a relatively inexpensive, exciting andout-of-the-ordinary afternoon or evening of fun that gives their kids a different andenriching experience of the world. Here's an example of a conversation you mighthear within a family group wherein the father is a TBF:

Father: Christy, see that man right there with the bat in his hand? He'strying to hit the ball with it, hoping to run around and touch all the bases.Christy (daughter): I WANT ICE CREAM!Mother: Maybe you should get her some ice cream. And take Josh to thebathroom while you're at it.Father: But, honey, there's a rally going on here, can't you take them?Mother: But I'm busy talking to my friend Flo here.Father: (resignedly) Oh all right.

You will find members of SOs, or Social Organizations, at most games. SO memberscan be coworkers (usually in a company that sponsors the team and has reservedseats), members of religious groups, youth groups, or nonprofit groups. Most ofthese organizations are present because they get discount admission or somespecial package that usually includes a pre-game picnic. For SOs, the game ispurely intended to be a time for eating, drinking, and socializing. On AdvertiserAppreciation Nights or other times when certain groups get discounts, you'll usuallyhave bigger crowds, but most of the noise they make is just in talking amongstthemselves. They may react when something big happens on the field, but thegame mostly provides a nice backdrop for their conversation. Here's a sampleconversation within a business group:

Sam: What do you think about our stock options at this point?Chris: I don't know, Sam, the market's a little iffy. (CRACK) Oh, look at thatball go.Sam: Yeah, but none of these guys will ever make it to the big leagues.Anyway, what are you going to tell the boss at lunch on Monday?

There are two subgroups within SOs. First are the TFBMs, "Thanks For Bringing Me,"who come with their organization and really enjoy the experience of minor leaguebaseball, but are not motivated enough to go on their own. They are truly happy tobe there and you often hear them lamenting, "Why don't I do this more often?"TFBMs are a significant target group for most teams' advertising campaigns. Secondare the DKAS, "Dragged Kicking and Screaming." These are mostly kids or adultswho may enjoy themselves, but wouldn't be there in a million years if it was left upto them. They are unlikely to come back unless dragged again with their group.

The final group makes up the minority of TWBPSE. The Uninterested Kids, or UKs,consists of 7 to 16-year-olds who view the stadium simply as a cool place to hangout, eat junk food, drink soda and meet other kids. UKs may or may not be therewith their families. They may be there with a youth group, but they often choosenot to sit with them the entire game. Mostly, they walk around the stadium in smallgroups or stand in the aisles in the main concourse or between the stands and fieldand chat about all manner of things, never baseball. Some UKs may stand and waitfor foul balls but not be interested in the game unless a ball comes their way.Going to get food between innings can sometimes be an adventure, having to windyour way around groups of UKs standing around and chatting.

If you want to see for yourself just what I mean, you can go to your local minor-league stadium. Any event that is entertaining to watch and be a part of but canalso be followed by more dedicated people will usually feature this kind of spectatorbreakdown. Scope out the social scene next time you're at a sporting event.People-watching is just as fun as watching the game, and you may actually findyourself enjoying both.

Malcolm M. Kenton is a sophomore and full-time student at Guilford College inGreensboro, North Carolina, who is majoring in Environmental Studies and PoliticalScience. When he is not at a Greensboro Grasshoppers' game, he enjoys advocatinganimal protection and environmental causes, politics, computers, and reading andwriting. He was the editor of his high-school newspaper and has had op-ed articlespublished in the Greensboro News & Record.

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Tales of a Spectator Spectator