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Protecting Your Kids From Online Predators

by Jason Jeffreys

Unlike the loving, caring sex we talk about on this web site there is a dark side to sex and learning about sex on the internet that has exploded over the past few years. Of course we are speaking about the ever rising problem of sexual predators that lurk in the shadows of chat rooms, myspace.com and other 'social' web sites, all for the single purpose of trying to get at your children! Am I being overly dramatic here? Absolutely not! This topic hit very close to home with us over the past week, so close that we feel it is our duty to pass this story along to every parent out there along with ways you can protect your children.

We live in a rural area, one of those places that to most seems like a safe place to raise a family and children. But even in this somewhat safe, insulated area crime is sneaking into our homes through our computers. The perceived 'safety' of any area has been shattered forever and parents must know about this and become more vigilant about watching their children. I won't give details or names out here but please be assured this story is 100% true and has broken both of our hearts, the hearts of the parents of this child and has probably destroyed what was left of the childhood of a 14 year old little girl.

Our neighbor's daughter is like our own, my wife calls her 'the daughter I never had'. She is a happy young lady with a sparkle in her eye, a cute little grin that makes you want to laugh and an intelligence that tells you some day she will do great things. She loves to hang out with my wife and tinker in the garden, attempt a crochet stitch or two, or just sit around and talk. We have also had some serious heart to heart talks with her about life, the turmoil of being a teenager and the 'big bad world' and we have told her we are there for her any time she feels she can't say something to her parents but even that 'safety net' failed this time.

About a month ago my wife received an email from her asking if we could buy her a pregnancy test. We were shocked and upset over this and after thinking about it we told her this was something we could not help with and that she needed to talk to her parents. We were torn between her trust in us and whether we should speak to her parents but after talking a while we decided this was something she needed to do, mistake number one on our part. Within a week she came over to tell my wife she was not pregnant and my wife gave her a stern 'talking to' about how dumb this was and she agreed. Unfortunately she was still not telling us the whole truth and when we finally got the whole story this week we were devastated.

What really happened was this innocent 14 year old girl met a 20 year old man on youtube. Like most predators he showered her with praise and affection, telling her how pretty and smart she was. He told her he was in love with her and wanted to meet her. We don't know exactly how long the conversation went on between them but she finally agreed. This man had her so brainwashed she actually got him directions to her house from mapquest from 3 states away and snuck her into her bedroom at 1 am to have sex, with her parents sleeping one room away! Now if that wasn't bad enough there was a second incident. Within a week he asked to come back again, telling her he had a ring for her. Again this predator drove 300 miles and this time he snuck into the house in broad daylight, with her help. From what she says he then spent the next 12 hours in the house raping her (I'm sorry, consenting or not this is rape). At this point our reaction was probably about the same as what you are feeling right now, sick to our stomach and ready to organize a lynch mob.

Now you may say 'where were the parents in all this' but I will be the first to say these parents really do watch after their children, they thought they had done everything they could to protect her and finding out this had happened right under there nose has been the most horrific thing they have ever been through. As all parents would they blame themselves 100% for this but as we all know we can't watch our children every second of every day. The one smart thing they did do (and how they found out the details of this) was to install a piece of monitoring software on each of their kids computers (yes they all have their own because they attend school online). Had it not been for that one piece of software more than likely no one would have ever known and this could have gone on forever.

Of course this story will not stop here. The line of police, investigations and examinations will play out over the next few weeks, months and possibly years. This incident will not just go away, this family will be reminded of it for the rest of their life. We will be there to stand with our friends in any way we can no matter what happens but both my wife and I still feel we have failed this little girl and that hurts us more than anything else. We feel it is now our duty to 'get involved' and help other parents learn the facts and learn ways to try and stop this heinous crime.

What Parents Can Do To Protect Their Children

Being somewhat of a computer guru and being a concerned parent I have compiled this list of things any parent can do to try and stop this from happening to their children. I implore you as parents or relatives of people that have 'online' children to pass this article along to anyone and everyone you think it may help.

Whatever you do do NOT assume your children are having 'harmless fun' on the internet. Children don't seem to realize the danger that awaits them around every corner. Until you are 100% sure they are safe and not communicating with these predators your children could very well be in danger! PLEASE do not realize your mistake like the parents of this child (and us) have! Literally your child's life, health and happiness could be balancing on this mistake.

For further reading on this subject please check out the following web sites:

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